A Reflection of Home

Time passes and people change. 

Or do they?

Their faces haven't changed, but their clothes have, and even the way that they talk or the things they believe in. 

Someone once said, "a person with no dreams is like a bird with broken wings." 

Dreams make us come alive and add vibrance to daily living.

Some leave, and some stay. 

Others stay, but have left. 

Their bodies are here, but their hearts have flown elsewhere, and lost track. They dreamt and pursued - but hit a wall of "reality" and stayed stuck.

They stopped dreaming. 

When I find myself in auto-pilot mode of mindlessly doing life, my internal alarm jolts me awake, screaming "HEY! BE PRESENT!"

I'm learning that every situation has value. We daily have a choice to experience it fully. 

Settlement brings peace. It flows from a heart of surrender and leads to being fully present.

The secret of being content in any and every situation. 

On the other hand, the unending internal discussions of "am I in the right place? should I be somewhere else?" brings discontentment.

We all carry our own interpretations of the "ideal" place, both physically and spiritually.

But it will only happen in the moment we give our full hearts to where we are. 

It's a Heart thing, never a Place thing.

Wanderlust is beautiful. It opens us up to a bigger spectrum of life perspectives and possibilities. But perhaps, seeing new things is a way to escape from the responsibilities of our reality. When the "reality" gets pushed back and never dealt with, then later packaged with the accomplishments and careers - the child in us who was never accepted, heard and cared for hides under a mask.

Occasionally, this child creeps out from the cave, through heightened emotions or in uncontrollable situations.

Unending flow of tears, sharp pains all around, and even a beastly roaring scream.

You wonder where the beast came from. Even though it's been there all along.

This child cannot be kept hidden. We can bury him or her under the mask of our now "happy" lives. But until the child is heard, consoled, and embraced, we will never depart from the painful remnants of our past.

We have a Choice. 

It's a road less traveled - sadly an option never considered except for periods of transition or survival. 

It's a choice to come home - to where our dreams fostered and memories gathered, whether it was a street full of violence or a home full of laughter.

Some people never return. They packed their suitcases and walked out the doors, swearing never to come back - and they kept their word. 

For few others, a pull of a heartstring draws them back to where it all began.

Because it never quite ended, with pieces left hanging and unresolved. 

Your "yes" to this Choice may be shaking, weak, and barely heard.

But it's enough.

For the Grace that gives power to cry out "I can do ALL things!" begins its work the moment your heart responds to the Choice.

Home is generally associated with warm, fuzzy feelings from memories with loved ones, 

To me, a place of cherished memories but also unwanted wounds. The thorns so deep and masks so thick that took me on a journey to find a home elsewhere.

Eventually, I did find a Home that goes before me and after me. 

My security, refuge, and resting place. Not a place, but a person.

But that's not the happy ending.

The happy ending is not a one-time moment, but a continuous journey.

The journey, however, requires a heart of unceasing courage and relentless love.

So again, I make a Choice to proclaim: "yes, I am exactly where I need to be!"

Mid-2014, on a sunny day at the Row, Cupertino. It's a wonder how much has changed since then.